昆汀·奎斯普是一位英国作家、演说家和演员。克里斯普是一个传统的郊区背景，他化妆，涂指甲。在他十几岁的时候，他做过短暂的出租工。然后他花了30年时间在艺术院校担任生活课的专业模特。
Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
整个世界不都是一个巨大的转让之家，其档案系统已经丢失了吗？
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
没有什么比读一本关于礼仪的书更能迅速地使人倾向于进入修道院。有那么多琐碎的方式，有可能犯下一些社会罪。
The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
大多数人的消费欲望是故意把自己的一生都交给别人。我认为这种寻找幸福的方法是不成熟的。性格的发展完全在于走向自给自足。
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
尽管智力无法改变人的性格，但它是为自己的弱点寻找委婉语的一只灵巧的手。
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
没有什么比讲述不幸更能使人愉快地缩短旅程了，听者被允许笑。
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
孩子们的问题是他们不能退换货。
Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
健康包括与邻居有同样的疾病。
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.
成为作家有三个原因：第一是你需要钱；第二，你有话要说，你认为世界应该知道；第三个问题是你无法思考如何处理漫长的冬夜。