伊莉莎维什莱辛格是美国喜剧演员，演员和电视主持人。她出生于纽约市，在德克萨斯州的达拉斯长大。施莱辛格是2008年美国全国广播公司（NBC）最后一部漫画奖得主，并先后主持了《原谅》和TBS游戏节目《分离焦虑》。
Being sexually harassed is the worst. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Being sexually harassed by an ugly guy is the worst... If he's hot, it's just plain old flirting.
性骚扰是最糟糕的。对不起的。让我重新解释一下。被丑男性骚扰是最糟糕的。。。如果他很性感，那就是老调情了。
When you can analyze situations and figure out what's best for you, based on you and not some preconceived notion of what society expects, then nothing is a threat.
当你能分析情况，找出什么对你最好，基于你自己，而不是社会期望的一些先入为主的观念，那么什么都不是威胁。
My mother always told me that you should have one room in your house where you celebrate all of your achievements. You shouldn't have them spread throughout.
我妈妈总是告诉我，你应该在家里有一个房间，在那里庆祝你所有的成就。你不应该让他们到处散布。
Whenever I play Las Vegas, they always give you a suite, and it's really nice, and it always comes with a large bathtub.
每当我在拉斯维加斯玩的时候，他们总是给你一间套房，而且非常好，而且总是配有一个大浴缸。
I really wanted to do a deep-dive into the idea that women are always called 'crazy,' and we are painted with such broad strokes because it's so easy to stereotype women and write them off. I got tired of that, and I wanted to explain: We are not crazy. There's a method to our madness.
我真的很想深入探讨一下女人总是被称为“疯子”的观点，我们被画上了如此宽泛的笔触，因为很容易给女人定型并把她们一笔勾销。我受够了，我想解释一下：我们没有疯。我们的疯狂是有办法的。
I think part of being Jewish is that innate desire to question things. Rabbis sit around all day and question the Torah. Giving yourself the room to question things, in a religion, just breeds thinking.
我认为犹太人的一部分是天生的质疑欲望。拉比们整天坐在那里质疑律法。在宗教中，给自己质疑事物的空间，只会滋生思考。
I grew up in a bit of a vacuum. And as a kid, you see 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' and you're like, 'Oh, it's a cartoon.' There's mixed media. It's funny, and there's stop-motion. But as an adult, you figure it out, how the entire underpinnings of their comedy was poking fun at the rank and file of the British aristocracy and the monarchy.
我是在真空中长大的。当你还是个孩子的时候，你会看到“巨蟒飞翔马戏团”，然后你会说，“哦，这是一幅卡通画。”有多种媒体。这很有趣，还有定格。但作为一个成年人，你会发现，他们喜剧的整个基础是如何取笑英国贵族和君主制的普通民众的。
I got a job as a coat check girl at a nightclub - this was in my first few months of being in L.A.
我在一家夜总会找到了一份收外套的工作，那是我在洛杉矶的头几个月。